If The Beginning Had Been Different
by LD4ever
Summary: This is just a one shot i had to do for a class in school. I decided to post it because I thought it was pretty good. I had to use "I" messages. So it isn't the way i would've planned it to be, and it definitely has no swears. Some of the time the may not seem like Sam and Dean but please go with it and rate.


Sam, my younger brother, was going to leave the family business. Dad and I had told him all his life, he could never have a normal life. "Dean, I want to go to law school". That one sentence crushed my heart into pieces. My baby brother, who I've protected since I was four, after I carried him out of the burning house our mom died in, and he was ready to leave to go to school, away from my protection, away from dad's protection.

"Sam, you of all people should know we are never safe, we are always being followed!" I shouted, I sounded angry but I was actually quite hurt, but I'd never tell him that. I was supposed to be his big brother, his hero, and right now all I was doing was holding him back; holding him back from the life he really wanted.

Now after all this time that I promised him I'd get him anything he ever wanted no matter how much I had to give for him to be happy, I refused to get him what he wanted most. I was thinking of his safety, not his happiness and a fight was edging to happen and there was nothing I could do about it.

"Dean, I can't stay with the family business. I can't stay to watch you and dad get ripped to shreds in front of my eyes, I'd rather you die of old age or something, not at the hands of some demon!" Sam could be a persistent fellow when he wanted, and he decided that now was the time.

"Sam! Listen to me; I can't let you go through with this. I can't let you walk away. I can't let you walk away from my protection. Protecting you is all I know!" Emotion slipping of my tongue, nothing I wanted to hide more than my fear of losing my brother was starting to show in my quivering voice.

"Dean you won't always be there to protect me. You need to let me fly away" He counseled. What was he thinking? Did he really believe he could truly escape this devastating disaster that was struck upon our family on his six month birthday?

"I can't…" I whispered, if I continued he'd know my pain, he wouldn't leave. I didn't want him to go, but it was better than having him argue with our father constantly. He was right, he could take care of himself, but I just couldn't let him walk away from me. I couldn't.

"Dean, I know this is hard on you more so than dad, but we need to leave. I need to leave" I tensed at Sam's calming voice, little Sammy had grown up and there was nothing I could do about it. Our family falling apart, our mother was dead, Sam was going to leave, Dad was in full on drill sergeant mode and I was left torn.

"Sammy, I wish I could go with you. I could go to protect you like I always have. Remember when dad would go out on a hunt and he left us at a motel and registered us at the nearest school. I walked you to your locker, and left your side. I watched over you as if I was an angel on your shoulder and was your protector. In some cases that were true." I slowly turned away; he must've noticed the tears in my eyes. He rubbed my shoulder and nodded when I looked him in the eyes.

"Dean, you can always protect me. Just come with me, get out of this life style. Find a girl, get married have a family. You can't save everyone Dean." His words cut through my heart, and left it shattered. He was going to leave, and I wouldn't follow, it'd hurt too much.

"Sam. I don't want you to go, but you must. Get out of here you little rug rat. I feel this is highly needed for you, but I can't help but wonder if it's you I'm worried about or me. Listen bro, you and I go along way back and this will always be a difficult subject, because you are all I have Sammy. You are all that's left, Dad will get himself killed out there and I don't want to be left alone. Sammy, I would want you to be happy; I always have and always will. I know mom would want you to go." Tears streamed down my face, my puffy eye lids, glimmering in the sun.

"Dean… I… I don't know what to say. Thank you for understanding. I knew you would, I'm leaving in a week, until then let's just pretend. Pretend everything is okay, spend the little bit of time we have together killing those monsters, we can kill the yellow eyed demon; the one who killed mom." I nodded; I couldn't voice my feelings any longer. I leaned back in the driver's seat of my '69 Chevy Impala. Sam gave me a hug, and turned on Black Sabbath War Pigs, to enlighten my mood. We drove away, to meet dad at a motel in Kentucky to head off on our next hunt.

"Sam!" I hollered down the hallway. I had heard him scream during his interview to apply for college. I knew dad wouldn't like it at all but I figured I would want to have my brother happy and at school rather than living with us and watching Dad and I walking into traps where we could easily get ourselves killed.

I saw him whisk his way out of the door as I ran down the hallway. "DEAN! RUN!" at that moment I knew something was wrong, terribly wrong. Sam was yelling at me to do something while I was running towards him, towards the professor that followed Sam out of the room.

"Demon…" I whispered as the professors eyes turned completely black. I stopped and waited for Sam to reach me before turning around and burning rubber right behind my brother. I followed him out of the school, and the demon followed us.

"The Impala!" My brother shouted; I knew what he meant and I also knew I'd never make it there in time. I yelled at him to throw me the salt gun when he got to my baby and he did, surprisingly with no argument. I turned around blowing salt rounds all around the demon so he couldn't escape.

"I've got him Sam, grab the book and read the exorcism get this demon out of its host!" I grunted as I blew more salt in a circle around the dangerous demon. Sam read the exorcism quickly with a Latin tongue.

"Let's get out of here Sammy." I announced quickly, "We shouldn't have stopped. Dad would be disappointed at how easily we fell for that." I ran to my car once again. Sam stood on the sidewalk dumb struck at what I had said.

"Dad doesn't need to know Dean" He mumbled as he got into the car. I glanced over at my brother sitting in the passenger seat. He had not just suggested that we lie to our father, even if he had only whispered it to himself. I struck him on the arm with the back of my hand grabbing his attention quickly. His expression read _What? _But I knew exactly what he was really thinking.

"Sam, don't argue with me on this one. We can't lie to dad, that demon could've killed us." I retorted. I returned my gaze back to the road and drove off. Dad was waiting for us in a state over and we had just over a day to get there.

"No Dean. You're wrong" Sam exclaimed. The conversation ended then and there, I wasn't going to argue with my brother about loyalty to our father when I knew that I was going behind his back about Sam going to college.

We took turns driving throughout the day and night and eventually ended up an hour away from our meeting point. Sam was asleep and I wasn't about to wake him up, he'd been having trouble sleeping in the seat behind me and the backseat was too short for his lengthy body.

I pulled over on the side of a road to take a nap as well, we had ten hours before actually needing to arrive at the motel and about eight hours of those ten could be used for sleeping. I closed my eyes slowly, hoping to catch a few winks but didn't get worth much of any sleep as soon as I heard Sam's shriveled scream.

I jumped at the thought of my brother being attacked right beside me, and whipped my head to face him. He was pale and sweating, tossing and turning in his sleep. "Crap a nightmare" I spoke aloud to no one in particular. I shook my brother fiercely hoping for a reply but all I heard were continued muffling screams.

"Sammy, snap out of it. Wake up bro. Time to get up sunshine." I declared loudly in his right ear. I hissed quietly as my brother punched me in the face when he woke up. "So much for a bucketful of sunshine" I grumbled quietly as I pulled back onto the highway and returned on our drive towards Kentucky.

We arrived shortly after one, checking into a room and resting up for the next seven hours before actually needing to be up and meeting dad. "Dad can find us here if we leave a message Dean. He can pick up breakfast and we can get eight hours of sleep instead of seven." Sam suggested.

"No can do Sammy. I want to look into this a little before one. I want to have an understanding of what has been going on in this town before Dad arrives." I announced tiredly. Sam sent me a dirty look and thought on my announcement for a short moment.

After a while Sam came up with a reply. "Fine! Do whatever you want but I am staying in bed and sleeping for eight hours and leaving in ten after that for college no matter what dad says. I need to be rested for the heated argument I know I am going to have when dad arrives." I laid down on the bed thinking of what Sam had said.

Next thing I knew was a knocking at the front door. "Sammy, answer the door" I tiredly demanded. When nothing came back I groggily sat up and looked to the bed beside me, _empty. _I looked around the room cautiously searching for danger before continuing to get out of bed. The knocking at the door had stopped and now my phone was ringing.

Flipping my phone open to answer I noticed a note on the bed side. I didn't have any time to read it though, avoice came roughly through the speaker of my cell. "Open the door Dean!" My father had arrived and I didn't know where Sam was. That couldn't be a good thing. I dropped the phone, grabbed the paper and slid it in the back pocket of my jeans and ran to answer the door.

Dad walked in sluggishly and didn't look happy. "Hey dad." I announced cheerfully, seeing my dad seemed to brighten my mood a lot. Dad only glared at me which made me surprisingly disappointed but I'd never let him see me that way.

"Where is Sam?" He asked me quickly. I looked away, if only I had read the note I might have been able to cover for him. I shrugged my shoulders in response, refusing to look at him. "Dean. Where. Is. Your. Brother?" He asked again, more demanding this time.

"I don't know" My reply was quiet but I knew he heard me. His breathing became rough and ragged, he knew something was up and I couldn't do anything about it. "He didn't wake me up. Frankly I must have been extremely tired if I slept through him leaving the motel." Honestly I had an idea to why I slept the length of time I did. I wasn't feeling completely up to par lately, and with all the driving that I had done in the past week was adding to the toll.

"I'm going to search for him. Stay here in case he returns. I'll call you if I find anything" I nodded my head acknowledging what he said, also letting him know I'd do the same if Sam returned to the house.

After dad left, I looked at the note Sam had left and started reading it:

_Dean, I had to leave before dad got there. I went to grab dinner and didn't want to wake you. You were tossing and turning in the night and I figured you'd probably not want me to tell Dad you weren't feeling good. By the way you had a fever last night so I'll pick up some medicine on the way home and sneak it passed dad to give to you. I should be back around one or two. Rest up bro, I'll be back soon. Call me when you wake up._

_ Love Sam._

"Oh great!" I muttered to myself,. I whipped around and ran to the bedroom again grabbing my dropped phone as it started ringing. "Hello?" I answered cautiously.

_"Geeze Dean. I thought you weren't going to ever wake up and call me. Dad must've woken you up. Did you tell him I went to grab dinner?" _Came back through my phone. I juggled a pen in my hand before sighing and replying to my brother.

"Hadn't read the letter before Dad got here. He took off in a storm when he found out you weren't here. I'll call him and tell him to come back. Speaking of which, where are you exactly?" I voiced my thoughts unconsciously.

_"Just leaving town, I'll be at the motel in about half an hour. I had gone to the closest town possible and didn't want to leave you alone at the house for more than four hours." _Sam and I talked for a while before I hung up and phoned dad.

Dad didn't seem happy about the situation, but returned home shortly after Sam did. Dad continued staring at me as Sam passed out the dinner. Sam cast a glanced look towards me; looking in his eyes I saw my reflection. My skin was pale and my eyes were glassy. _"Maybe I should have gone to the bathroom before they returned" _I thought to myself.

"Sam I need to talk to you." Dad's voice cut my thoughts off in an instance. I didn't like the sound in his voice. Sam looked as if he'd seen as ghost; he had frozen where he was at the tone in our fathers words.

"Now dad?" He whimpered aloud. Dad nodded his head and he and Sam left the room. _"Not now. Not while I'm sick!" _My mind yelled at me before I raced to grab my coat and follow the rest of my family outside.

I stopped at the door not two minutes after grabbing my stuff, I realized I was a little tired and still wasn't feeling very well. I noticed that things were starting to spin and the edges of my vision were fading in and out. I wasn't going to stop and let a little cold stop me from protecting my family.

I must've been lost in thought, when I snapped out of it I realized that ten minutes had passed and I could faintly hear a shouting match beginning between father and son. I slowly reached the door and opened it to reveal Sam against the Impala with dad yelling in his face. I tried to walk towards them, I tried to tell them there fighting was hurting me, but all I succeeded was falling on my face.

The screaming stopped as I hit the ground. Sam ran to me and lifted my head onto his legs as we sat in the rain. "Dean; come on man stay awake"

My glassy eyes faced Sam's and I spoke quietly. "I don't like it when you fight with dad. It hurts me, a lot. I feel like the world is falling apart when you have a yelling match. I didn't want you to get hurt. Please stop fighting with dad." My vision continued to flicker in and out of focus but I knew Sam heard me, and so did dad.

"I'm sorry Dean. We won't fight anymore, will we dad?" Sam asked sadly, as he faced our father.

"Never Dean. Rest now, you need it." Dad spoke before I passed out. Last thing I heard was dad's talking with Sam. "Go to college Sam. You need it."


End file.
